A year in the life of a miserable BITCH... a.k.a ME! PART 2

 

A year in the life of a miserable BITCH... a.k.a ME! PART 2

 

I’m back again with PART 2 of A Year in the life of a miserable bitch. If you missed Part 1 you can read it HERE.
I’m kicking off with July and its fluorescent furry balls!
 

JULY

Wimbledon will be filling our TV screens and every fucker in a pair of socks and sandals will be regaling us with their superior knowledge of the fine sport. Me… I’m just innit for the strawberries and cream, let’s not forget my childish giggles at the sexual grunting noises emanating from the telly. I mean I know that they have to hit the ball with some force, but does it really need to sound so…. Horny?

 AUGUST

Now I don’t know what its like for you but, as a stay at home parent to three kids, August is just a blur of filling cupboards with food, for it to be gone through within minutes. I’m lucky because I actually enjoy their company. I say that bu,t there is definitely a limit to how many bickering matches you can patiently referee. The having to wade through the lingering brown mist from the farting competition they embarked on earlier in the day isn’t high on my list of fun either!
The celebration part… me bouncing off the walls with glee when the fuckers return to school in a week!

 

SEPTEMBER

Naomi's First day at school
 
The time of year when Facebook and Instagram overflow with ‘Bobby’s first day at big school’ “Paige has mastered the periodic table, just in time for nursery and I happened to have the camera ready as she solved string theory’ and all this before 8am. Well… isn’t this world just full of adorable little geniuses!
Now, don’t get me wrong I do quite enjoy seeing the next generation learn new things, but  I shit you not… in the last ten years, I have seen more children go from cute first day at school to bragging about their first day at community service is quite astonishing?
Any of you rethinking the first day pic now? LOL!
 

 

OCTOBER

 
HALLOWEEN, I hate it for one reason and one reason only, every single year I buy a tub of sweets at the beginning of the month. BOSH! That’s Halloween sorted, mini bags of Haribo, ‘jobs a good’un’.  A few days later, the tub will catch my eye, the seal has been broken… THE SWEETS ARE GONE! Now this happens 4 or 5 times through the month. You would think by now that I’d have learnt and would just stop buying the sodding things… but year upon year the cycle continues. The most ridiculous and infuriating of all – I lived in a flat, so I never got trick or treaters anyway, hows that for logic!
 

NOVEMBER

 
I’m not getting into it!
Set displays, silent fireworks, not sold to the general public!
If nothing else, I’ll have something else to read about on Facebook for a change.
 fireworks for a year in the life

DECEMBER

The culmination of the year, when the world is full of Christmas cheer. HAHA don’t make me laugh, who the hell are you all trying to kid?
Without someone flinging sprouts across the table in a fit of rage, Aunt Marge trying to ‘get off with’ the neighbour and Granddad writing his name in the snow after one too many sherry’s Is it really Christmas?
 
Obviously not everyone is going to feel the same but, that’s the point, right? We all have differing opinions, we all see the world in a different light to one another, it doesn’t make it wrong.
With all the upset in the world right now, I just wanted to inject a bit of light-hearted humour.
 
 

If you would like to read more of my musings, you can find them here

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 By Trina Leah ©

 
 
 

1 comment

  • A lighthearted and true part 2! Fab reading as usual and you capture what we are all thinking x

    Cara

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