The A – Z of things that Piss me off PART 4

The A – Z of things that Piss me off PART 4

Here it is! The last in the 4 part series of "The A- Z of things that P*ss me off!"

If you missed the first 3, don't fret you can find them Here 

so let's get cracking before i get interrupted for the 1000th time this evening...

 

S is for Simple or so you thought

 
Why is it that the simplest of requests must be met with a sigh? The look of indignance that they have been approached to make a cup of tea. Now, I may drink it by the gallon, and I may want 50 cups a day but, I think that’s rather a low price to pay for the crap I have to put up with being a mum! I get it, it was my choice… that 46 seconds of ‘pleasure’ certainly has a lot to answer for.
 

T is for Total denial

 
Why? Just why? I know one of you little turds used the last of the bog roll and didn’t bother to say anything! So, now that I am facing the three of you and asking who has been so utterly inconsiderate, does it now appear that you all have no knowledge of what a toilet even is never mind the shit rag that I speak of
 
. “Toilet paper mother, what is this mystical object you speak of?”
 

U is for Under construction

 Photo by <a href="https://burst.shopify.com/@ndekhors?utm_campaign=photo_credit&amp;utm_content=Picture+of+Construction+Scaffolding+%E2%80%94+Free+Stock+Photo&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=credit">Nicole De Khors</a> from <a href="https://burst.shopify.com/building?utm_campaign=photo_credit&amp;utm_content=Picture+of+Construction+Scaffolding+%E2%80%94+Free+Stock+Photo&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_source=credit">Burst</a>
Photo by Nicole De Khors from Burst
It baffles me how their bedrooms can go from Perfect Palace to Shit-hole Disaster Zone in the space of ten minutes. It’s not so much the mess that’s confusing, it’s that they don’t appear to have moved a muscle?
 

V is for Variety is the spice of life… unless you have kids.

 
Photo by Sarah Pflug from Burst
Pizza and chips – how I long for the day that they willingly ask for something other than pizza and chips. I’m starting to think that if I don’t address this soon,,, carrots and the like are gonna become obsolete. The way they see it – if they put pineapple on it and there is tomato on the base… that’s at least 2 of their 5 day. How do you fight logic like that?
 

W is for Wigwams, tents, forts and all.

 
I thought they would’ve grown out of this, I must admit they get a full ten points for creativity, but if I  find one more fucking bedsheet, towel, blanket or duvet pegged around their room, I am gonna lose it. Let’s face it – there aint no way its gonna manage to stay clean and, like fuck are you gonna bnwther to fold it up and put it away after.

 

X is for the eXample that I failed to set.

 
I am a great believer in being polite. My mum has always said “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. The keeping quiet part wasn’t the problem… telling my face to catch up to the concept was a whole other story. Pretending you are eating the most exquisite meal is easy unless, your face is telling everyone you're dining on a shit sandwich! I can’t get away with not having an opinion anymore, my face says it all without my mouth having to! I appear to have passed this on…. Whoops!
 

 Y is for Yesterday

 
It’s not even a relevant time frame anymore.
 Me -  “When was the last time you cleaned your room properly?”
Them – “Yesterday”
 
Loosely translated as – any time between the actual yesterday and 6 months ago!
 

Z is for ZZzzzz

 
The countless hours they complain about being tired, yet fail to go to bed and actually sleep at a reasonable hour. Admittedly I have no room to talk here but, I’m an adult god dammit and those sleepy hours and the only freedom I get!
That's all from me, 26 of the most normal things, that aggravate the life out of me. 
Thanks for joining me.

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 By Trina Leah ©

1 comment

  • T is for telling the truth and I am telling you a true story.

    My eldest child nearly killed me at birth. It was a very near miss for both her and me. I went on to have two more after her and although not as traumatic there was issues with those births too. They are a story for another day.

    I have always told my children to tell the truth, and on the whole, they are fairly truthful when it matters and have grown into fairly well-rounded adults.

    When they were smaller I took them shopping to Bluewater in Kent. I believe its the largest indoor shopping centre in the UK. The eldest decided she needed the toilet. Off we trot and locate the ladies, however her brother and sister at this point are not fans of walking very far and so are in a double pushchair.
    Now I have never been one to leave my children out of my sight not even for a moment and I am sure they are not many people who would steal a pushchair with two kids in. Plus our disney store stash was hanging from the back. So I managed to squeeze us all in the disabled toilet and actually shut the door. The desperate child did her thing and washed her hands. She was just about to open the door and I said to her to wait just one minute. At the top of her voice she said oh mummy are you going to change your nappy too

    Now I could feel my face going red without anybody even looking at me or knowing who I was. I hissed a quick shhhh at the child and decided my approach was to wait at least 5 minutes before going into the outer toilet area just in case anybody was curious about what was happening in the disabled toilet.

    However in my child’s eyes she was just asking a truthful question. She had been with me many times when I had purchased tenna lady incontinence pads, as she was the reason my bladderwas shot to pieces and I was awaiting major surgery to put it right. She saw tenna lady as mummies version of a nappy and hence her question,

    We did wait for a while and thankfully once we had made our exit from the cubicle I did not notice any strange looks for ladies. So yes kids should tell the truth, but just sometimes does the truth need to be heard.

    Val

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